as close as I'm going to get...

Hi from the Kenya Kenyatta Airport!

My computer died about five days after my arrival in Ghana so right now, I am at an internet cafe at the airport paying $2/15 minutes to be online. It is so worth it.
So... in October 2008, I spent 1-2 weeks in Nairobi, Kenya and I absolutely fell in love with the city and its people. I became so enamored in fact that since then, I have been trying to find a way back to Kenya.

I thought I'd finally done just that when I finagled my way onto a project that was supposed to start at the end of October and would allow me to spend 2-3 weeks in Kenya (dreams of a hot air balloon ride over the Masai Mara were pretty much a constant for most of my September). Two days before I was to leave however, I wound up going to Texas.

Yeah... so not the same thing (which isn't to say Texas is not without it's charms. Yeah, barbecue!).
But now, I have finally made it back!

Yes, It is just the airport.

And it is a ridiculously early hour in the morning and I am barely awake after flying through a whole night. And on some level, I suppose airports don't really count as being in the country.

But... I've been praying for a year to get back to Kenya, Now I have.
If nothing else, it really does confirm for me that God has a rather charming sense of the ridiculous.

Happy Birthday Bennett

Traveling is an incredible opportunity. There are moments when I sit back and think... seriously, am I really in [insert name of country]? But the downside of traveling is that I miss a lot of events that I wish I didn't, like a birthday party for a pretty spectacular little boy named Bennett who turns two today.

So Bennett, ten years from now ('cause you can't read yet) when you are going through the albums and wonder why I am not in any of the pictures, you should know that even through I wasn't there, I was sitting in a hotel room in Ghana praying that God would grow you in amazing ways and thanking Jesus that you are in my life.

Happy Birthday Bice! I hope you have a day filled with cars that all belong to you!

I love you lots and lots and lots (way more than Rob for example) and can't wait to see you in a few months.

Exploring Budapest

Most people who know me would agree (I think) that I am not really the adventurous sort. I'm more of a “read a good book” kind of girl. Yesterday, however, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and leave Romania a day early to spend a night exploring Budapest. Everyone at the ministry has been telling me how beautiful a city Budapest is so... curiosity piqued, I decided to give being a tourist on my own a try.

Since I only had one evening in the city, I wound up visiting a castle and an opera house (Beethoven was there! Not today ‘cause he’s dead but he used to be there once upon a time, long, long ago) within walking distance of my hotel. It turns out, everyone was right. Budapest is a beautiful city. It has that old provincial European look to it that makes you think that you've stepped out of your real life and into a fairy tale.
The castle I visited is situated at the top of a hill. Looking down from atop it, I had a perfect view of the chain bridges that cross the Danube River and connect one part of the city to the other. I don’t have words to do the scene justice. Except to say- in spite of the hundreds of people around- there is a sense of peace there that I suspect is a reflective glimmer of what Adam and Eve must have had in the garden.

It took me a while to notice that of the many, many tourists there, I was the only one that was alone. I got to thinking that I spend a lot of time alone. I know part of that is my fault; I am well aware that I am the opposite of social in Florida. But part of it is my current lifestyle of living out of my suitcase 75%- 85% of the year.

As I stood there, “Sea of Faces” by Kutless came up on my iPod and I identified so acutely with the first verse:

I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care?

All of a sudden, my aloneness was this palpable covering over me. And I started feeling a little sad and really lonely. Then the next verse came on:

And in Your eyes I can see

I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces

And I realized that Jesus knew exactly what I was feeling. What Jesus did on the cross was incredible but it struck me, in a way that it never has before, just what Jesus went through all the years he had to live on earth. Do you ever think how alone Christ must have felt all the time he was on earth? And how, in some ways, that must have been so much harder for Him than dying? The people closest to Him- His disciples, His mother- they didn't really see who He was until He rose from the dead. 33 years and even surrounded by the crowds, he must have felt so isolated from everyone.

Jesus lived with God. He was with the Father. And who, after being there, would want to leave? Yet Jesus separated himself for us... for me. As I stood at the castle looking down at this incredible view of God's creation and man's architecture, it struck me that Jesus has experienced so much worse than everything I was feeling at that moment. He knew what it is to be alone. He knew it for 33 years instead of an hour or two on top of a hill in a city that I know I am blessed to be able to experience.

Being able to make the connection between how I felt and what Jesus had conquered made me remember that with Christ, I am never alone. Jesus understands me in a way that no human companion does or ever will. This truth hit me so powerfully in fact that I got my two legs walking down the hill and across the chain bridge to explore what just might be one of my favorite cities in the world.

I don't think you can ever reiterate this too much- God is so faithful. He is just so good in his faithfulness. It’s funny how much my perspective on ministry has changed in one year. When I started at Book of Hope, I knew that God would do things in my life but honestly, that was not what I really, really thought. Mostly, I thought I would be working for God. I thought that I would be changing lives. More and more I experience the truth that everything I do and anything I could do does not compare to what God does. It’s just so awe-inspiring, isn’t it?

Wherever you are reading this, I hope you know that God is doing something great in your life and growing you in miraculous ways.

Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

What not to say

This past year, I have heard a lot of never say never stories.
I heard the first in the Philippines from an amazing young woman. Do you ever meet someone and before you even get a chance to say hello, you think of course we're going to be friends? Well that is my friend Joy and this is her story.
A few years ago, Joy worked in youth ministry at her church. One day she received a phone call from a young man who wanted to see if her church would be interested in partnering with his ministry to deliver God's word to the young people of her community. She was happy to say yes and before she knew it, she and this young man (who also happened to have the Jesus glow), wound up communicating quite a lot. While for him their time working together was "I think I found my wife," for her, it was "Lord, am I ever going to get married? And why does this guy come around so much?" He asked her for permission to court her. She said, "Never. I'll always think of you as a friend, not a husband."
Being a very smart young man, he was naturally disappointed but had the good sense to leave it with the Lord. And the God of miracles answered his prayers. A few years later, I had the pleasure of sitting down to dinner with them to hear the story of their wedding day (no, I did not eat balut because I am anti-chick abortion).
Shortly after that, I heard a similar story in Indonesia. A young lady with a heart for the Lord decided to go to seminary where she met a brilliant young teacher who recognized his Eve almost immediately. Mutual friends let her know of his interest. She said, “Never! Why, a cow would have to turn into a horse before I'd marry him.” A year later, she married the young professor. Her friends, kind enough to want her to be a woman of her word on her wedding day, decorated the wedding hall with a banner of a cow turning into a horse.
Well, my own version of the story is not quite so exciting but I do hope the hand of the Lord is in it as well.
I said I’d never start a blog.
And now here you are reading.